The Business of Being Twenty-Something

Sometimes I get really ahead of myself about things.  For instance, when I was searching for a new job, every time I would go on an interview somewhere I would launch into incessant planning of how I was going to quit my current job, how I would commute to the new job, what things I could do after work (based on new job’s better location), etc.  All of these things were a little too far in the future to seriously be thinking about.  After all, I didn’t even HAVE the new job to begin with…making all of my plans completely moot.  I’m not really sure why I do this, it probably has something to do with being really nervous about what’s *currently* going on in my life.  Go figure, I like to escape reality.

So this weekend, upon my roommate’s suggestion, we watched “The Business of Being Born.” The film is a documentary which is heavily biased towards propagating natural/home births. (Parenthetical Note: the dramatization of the drugs they give you in the hospital is enough to turn you off drugs for the rest of your life)  The documentary was very interesting and I highly suggest it to anyone, but be warned: lots of bare breasts…and not in a sexy way.  This launched roommate and me into a lengthy discussion of what birth plans we should eventually follow.  Which then devolved into us laughing at how silly our 28,29,30, or 31 year old selves will view the memory of us sitting in our tiny apartment and talking about birthing plans when we were 22 years old.  In fact, I hope that late 20’s/early 30-something me comes back to this blog and reads this very post and cackles with laughter at how silly the whole thing is. 

I would say that I should STOP doing this silly thinking 100 steps ahead thing, but I think maybe it’s a good coping mechanism of sorts.  Even if nothing turns out the way that I predicted it to, at least I can be comforted by the false security of a “plan” in light of the limitless options of the coming days, months, and years.  Being twenty-something is really an exercise in attempting to make ill-informed plans for a future that is so shapeless that it’s terrifying.  So in the meantime, I’m going to blunder through the present and try to figure out what I want for the future.  The best part about being young is that you can change your mind, even the moment after you’ve made it…but before you can laugh at your choices, you have to MAKE some.